Oh. Hi. I'm looking for a gnome. She's short. Ok, gnomes are short. Give me a break. And she's female. Stop, why are you looking at me like that. She has a pink pigtail. I bet that was obvious too. This is the Pink Pigtail Inn, right. Well, that's what the sign says. And that what it was called last time I was here. But the gnome isn't here, at least not right now.
Whatcha mean who am I. I'm the bartender, see. Name's Elnia. Ambassador Elnia, to you scruff. Don't look at me like that, you got a problem with Night Elves. Times are tough for us Ambassador types. What with Argent Tournament and all, any old fool can be an Ambassador now. And the Horde setting up shop with the Alliance in Dalaran...well, laws of supply and demand see. Anyway, Larisa felt sorry for me, heard I was needing a job. Can't say bartending was what I had in mind.
So what's this all about then, huh. Always asking questions, huh. A real barstool habitant aren't we. What do you think bartending is all about, scruff. I pour you a drink. I listen while you tell me all about it; then I give you my take. I pour it out, then I dish it out. Right, that's how it works. Never been in a pub where it works any differently, inn or no.
Whatcha mean you want Larisa. I want Larisa. But Larisa doesn't appear to be here right now. Have you seen a gnome. Oh shut up. A gnome with a pink pigtail, you know what I meant. That's right, Larisa is out: out of touch, out to lunch, out of her mind. Take your pick. She might be all three. But she is out; we have an absent gnome.
Stop looking at me like that scruff. Here's the deal. Here's how it's going down. No negotiations, I'm not doing that job anymore. When Larisa is not here, you listen to me. Oh sure, I'm no Larisa; not gonna try and be Larisa. But when the gnome is out, it's me: Elnia. You can of course comment all you want. Commentin' is free, though a copper or two is always welcome. Put it in the jar over there, the one that says, "tips". I AM GONNA HIT YOU, SCRUFF. It does not say tits, it says tips: t-i-t-s. Tips. Just a copper or two.
The Bartender's Take is a new feature of the Pink Pigtail Inn that will appear occasionally. The author is (former) Ambassador Elnia from USA-Silver Hand. When not pouring ale all over the customers, she can be found stalking the wilds of Northrend yelling at ninjas to keep their hands off her damn ore. Her alter ego resides in the mountains of New Mexico, USA.
6 days ago